My sweet little Autumn,
God really protected you as you grew in my tummy. We had
an early bleeding scare when your placenta started to tear away from my uterus.
I was worried I would lose you as we had just lost a baby the month before you
were conceived and this felt so similar. I was in so much pain balled up on the
bed, praying God would protect you, and He did. There were several times that
area would burn in pain after doing too much lifting or bending, but God still
kept you safe. The week before you arrived, sisters, mommy, and daddy all came
down with the flu. It was one of the worst cases we had in a long time. I got
really sick throwing up and became dehydrated and starved. The midwife said my
body was starting to break down. I lost a lot of weight and my blood pressure
and heart rate were not good at all. Kelly, the midwife, was trying to decide
if she needed to send me straight to the hospital. I was terrified. I wanted to
have you safely at home so bad. I didn’t want the doctors to have to take you
before you were ready to come on your own, but I knew we had to do whatever we
needed to keep you and me safe. Kelly told me to go eat some lunch nearby and
to drink a lot of water and juice. I did, but I felt so sick, from the flu
still and from the fear of possibly having to go to the hospital, that I had
trouble getting food in. But God protected us again. Kelly rechecked us and
there was enough improvement that she thought I could go home to try and eat
and drink as much as possible over the next few days. Daddy was very helpful in
keeping us eating, loading us with protein and drinks of all kinds. Slowly I
started feeling better and gained weight and got enough fluids in. Kelly let me
cancel the ultrasound she had earlier advised me to schedule to check on the
fluid level around you. I was worried the ultrasound could come back with bad
false results as I had read the later ultrasounds were often incorrect. I was
praying for wisdom on how to ask Kelly if I could cancel it, but I didn’t have
to ask, she brought it up herself and said she thought I could cancel it. Whew!
Another worry gone! Daddy and I were also excited that you would still be our
little surprise as to whether you were a girl or boy. We both secretly dreamed
of another girl, although we knew we would love a boy too. But I think we both
imagined life with 4 girls and how sweet that would be. Near the end of my
pregnancy with you though, so many of our family members had said they thought
you would be a boy, I think I was starting to believe them. I also had a
strange rash appear two weeks before you came that I thought was the “Puppps
Rash” that they say 70% of women with that rash have boys. So I decided to buy
a few used baby boy clothes just in case. Well after the flu fiasco that rash
disappeared so I was still feeling like there was a chance you could be a girl.
I knew I was still being very drawn to girly things as I bought little blankets
and burp cloths for you that I tried to get as gender neutral, but they all
really had a feminine hint to them all.
Well, contractions came on and off for months before you arrived, some
being very strong, some much weaker. I seem to labor like this with all of you
girl’s pregnancies, so I wasn’t alarmed by it. I just went with it, trying not
to get my hopes up too high as I got closer to your estimated due date, knowing
the contractions could stop and go for quite awhile longer. Daddy and I dreamed
about dates we thought would be pretty or convenient for you to come on and
Daddy, Kelly, and I all were thinking it would be nice if you came on the 28th.
It’s a good number to go with your sister’s birthdates as it’s easy to
remember, and we knew Daddy would have just got off from filming for Mr. Kinzer
Thursday night, and then we would have lots more flexible time. Daddy also
wanted to be able to go into his job at Dion’s Friday and be able to say you
were here, as he has been so proud to tell everyone about you! Well, all
Thursday the 27th, mommy spent the day cleaning and organizing the
house. Your grandma Sanchez paid for some ladies to come help me clean the
house that day, and Moga and Aunt Chelsey had been planning to take your
sisters to the Botanical Garden’s that day too. It was funny watching the
ladies faces as they weren’t fluent in English, but mostly spoke Spanish. I
told them I was having contractions and that I thought maybe you’d be coming
that night or the next day and so they kept watching me nervously as I paced
the house breathing through some pretty strong contractions and just tried to
keep myself busy cleaning and organizing so I’d feel ready for you to come!
Daddy had to work really late that night as he picked up a shift at Dion’s
right after he had been filming all day. I was still trying to get your sister
Claira to sleep in the big girl’s room that night when Daddy got home around 8.
She really wanted to sleep in my bed, but I felt I needed her to in the big
girl’s bed so I could labor with lots of space to roll around if I needed too.
I had to go back and rub Claira’s back several times. Sometimes I would kneel
on the floor as I rubbed her back, breathing through the contractions. Daddy
was going to help me, but I knew Claira would probably fall asleep faster for
me. We’ll Claira finally did fall asleep, but then at one point Danyelle rolled
on top of her in her sleep causing both of them to wake and be frustrated with
each other. So Daddy took Danyelle to our bed for a bit until I could get
Claira to relax and fall asleep again. Finally we got your sisters sleeping
peacefully and took Danyelle back to her bed while daddy and I cuddled. At one
point we decided to go out to the pretty living room so I could sit on the
birth ball through the contractions while daddy massaged my back and kissed me
trying to help me relax as much as possible. It was such a sweet time for us as
we held each other knowing we were getting close to meeting you. I started to
get tired of sitting on the ball as the contractions were getting stronger and
I really felt sleepy from all the house cleaning that day. We decided to go
cuddle in bed some more as we fell asleep around 10:30. I was kind of sad as I
had been hoping you would come in the middle of that night and I was thinking
that by going to sleep, the contractions would probably die off again and I’d
have to keep waiting to meet you. Well what I didn’t know was that I didn’t
have to wait much longer! I woke again at 11 with quite the strong contraction.
I lay there on my left side trying to stay relaxed through it and then tried to
fall asleep again, but then about 7 minutes later another strong one came
again! I kept peeking at the clock noticing they were about 7 minutes apart
each time. I stayed in bed quietly trying to relax and breath through the
strong contractions, about three contractions later they started to tighten
really strongly in my back and I had to wake Daddy. I told him I thought he
better start filling up the birth pool for me. So he woke with excitement and
confusion all at the same time as he was still half asleep. He went and got the
hot water heater turned all the way up, attached the hose to the kitchen sink,
and started filling the pool. I got up and went to the bathroom and had a few
more contractions. At one point I remember thinking as I felt your head very
low, “oh I hope it doesn’t come out while I’m on the toilet, but wouldn’t that
be funny if he came back in here and found me with a baby in my arms!” At this
point your sister Claira woke up again as she probably heard us moving around.
Thankfully I stayed calm with her and asked her if she would like to climb in
my bed and sleep. She shook her tired head and climbed right up into my bed as
I stayed standing in the bathroom bending over the sink with the contractions
as they were getting closer together now. Daddy came in and checked on me and
lovingly tried to help push on my back to help with the pressure. With sister’s
births I needed Daddy close by for almost every contraction to press on my
back, so he was just trying to help again as he was used to. For some reason I
felt like I needed to just move around and the touch wasn’t feeling as good at
this point. I paced in the bathroom trying to dance and move through the strong
contractions. At one point I remember rubbing my face against the soft bathmat
that was hanging over the shower curtain rod. The soft fibers of the rug
somehow helped me relax a little. Daddy told me he thought I could get in the pool
while it was filling if I wanted to so I quickly peeked at Claira who was now
asleep in our bed thankfully and headed for the pool! I tried dipping my toes
in the water first and it felt a little too hot so I decided to sit on the
birth ball next to the pool for a little bit first. I think the contractions
sitting on the ball were maybe the strongest ones. I leaned over and held the
side of the pool as I tried to stay calm and breath through the contractions.
It was kind of difficult to fully relax sitting on the birth ball because if I
let go of all my muscles I would start to roll off the ball! So Daddy tried to
stand nearby so I could hold onto him for balance. I was starting to feel a
little defeated and doubting myself to be able to birth you, but at the same
time that gave me hope that maybe I was entering into transition now and that
you would soon be in my arms as most women do doubt themselves right at the
end. Daddy had put some cooler water in the pool so I tried again to get in, at
first it was still too hot, but I didn’t feel like I could step over the pool
again and get out or you might fall out, maybe that too should have clued me in
that you were very close. I had to pee really bad as soon as my feet hit the
hot water, so I asked daddy to grab a plastic bucket that wasn’t being used in
the office so I could pee into it and keep the water a little cleaner. Daddy
ran as fast as he could, but couldn’t find it and wasn’t sure what I was
talking about. He brought back a huge Rubbermaid bin. I told him to go ahead
and bring it over as I needed to pee really badly. He then went looking for the
small blue bin again and found it the second time. He was moving so quickly,
although He was still kind of groggy and sleepy, but he sure was trying his
best to be quick for me. I had several strong contractions while I stood
standing there in the pool, standing up contractions are not my favorite, but I
knew they were also good as gravity would help pull you down quicker that way. I peed quickly in the bin as daddy held it for
me and sat down in the water. Oh the wonderful feeling of warm water to cover
your body when you’re having contractions! At first I think the warm water
slowed down the pace of the contractions, but not for long! Within a few
minutes the contractions were coming what seemed to be a minute or sooner
apart. Since I wasn’t telling Daddy each time I had a contraction and we were
in the living room with the lights still turned down really low, Daddy didn’t
realize how close together and often the contractions were coming. At one point
he even asked me if I was ready to get back into bed for the night as he
thought maybe they were slowing down. I looked at him and said oh no, this baby
is coming! I think that’s when Daddy snuck off to the bathroom to text Kelly
and let her know what was going on, although he didn’t tell me that as he didn’t
want me to lose focus on birthing you. Daddy then tried massaging me again but
I needed to move so much that I asked him to stop. I felt like a fish flopping
around in water. Daddy did his best to get me water and milk and the fan when I
needed it. He tried to play with my hair softly too to help me relax more. He
sure was hustling as my requests came quicker together as the contractions came
quicker together! Daddy asked if he should call Kelly to come yet. Deep down I
felt like you were close, but I had some doubt still remembering back to
Claira’s birth and how I could be having close strong contractions and then it
would just stop and it did that for 8 days, so I was kind of confused and
didn’t want the midwife to wake and come over if it was just going to stop.
Well I think maybe all in all I had about 5 maybe 6, contractions in that pool
before I started to feel like my body was starting to push. I told Daddy at
that point to call the midwife and that I was starting to push. It’s amazing
the rush you feel when your body starts pushing! The contractions started
feeling like a fuzzy feeling all over my body, especially in my head as my body
would bear down and push weather I was trying to or not! At that point it was
hard to really explain to Daddy what was going on as I felt like something took
over my body and I was just kind of in a zone. I pushed a few times lying on my
side, sometimes with one foot up on top of the pool side. I decided to reach my
fingers up inside and see if I could feel you to know how close you were, and
you weren’t much further past my first knuckle. So I kept my fingers in there
as I pushed and realized that pushing on my side was working, but not very
quickly. I remember saying out loud oh I don’t want to do this, this isn’t
going to be fun or something like that as I pulled myself up into a kneeling
position holding onto the side of the pool as I waited for the next pushing
contraction. I knew the contraction was going to be more intense in an upright
position, but I also knew you would come quicker and I just really wanted to
get you out and hold you. So I pushed in that position still with my fingers up
inside feeling your head coming down and that’s when I felt the pop and my fingers
felt not the sack of water anymore, but your fuzzy little cute head! I said out
loud “ahh that’s better” as the pressure from the bag of waters being that low
down and close to coming out was much more intense than your tiny cute fuzzy
little head. Daddy asked me what happened and I told him the water broke, so he
quickly called Kelly again to keep her updated. Well, as he was telling her my
water broke, I felt another pushing contraction coming on and I realized I was
still in the kneeling/squatting position and my mind went to all the youtube
birth’s I had see of women pushing in that position and their babies coming out
behind their bottoms. I knew it would be more complicated to fish you between
my legs to bring you to my chest without the midwife there to help get you
untangled, so I quickly pushed myself back in the water sitting up as I pushed
again. This time out slid your head and I told Daniel who was still telling
Kelly about my water breaking oh here is the head! I felt your little cute nose
under my hand that was on top and realized you were a sunny side up baby, a
position that supposedly normally takes longer to birth and is much more
intense, yet you and Natasha (my other sunny side up babies) were both the
quickest births so far. I had another
small pushing contraction and I felt each of your shoulders pop free as the
rest of your body slid out and I brought you up to my chest and held my sweet
new baby. I had one hand on your bottom and thought I felt that you were a
girl, but since daddy was still on the phone, I thought I’d better save the
actual checking for when he could see too. Daddy told the midwives (Kelly and
Teri were driving together) “Oh! It’s here.” And they said “what’s here?” Kind
of amazed, so Daddy explained that you were out. As I was holding you, Daddy
and I realized you weren’t breathing yet and were quite purple. The cord wasn’t
tangled or anything, so we told the midwife who was still on the phone with us
and she told us to rub your back and feet. Still nothing, so she told us we
could move you around and kind of hold you with your head down a bit and pat
your back. So I did and you coughed out some white stuff and some fluid and
started to breathe a little, but still you were pretty purple and not seeming
to breath quite right yet, so we kept moving you around and patting you with
your head face down a bit and soon you coughed up more stuff and started to cry
a little. I know babies don’t have to cry when they come out to be ok, but this
time we were thankful to hear you cry out a little and to see you starting to
turn pink. Oh the wonderful feeling of holding your baby after such a work out.
It makes it all so very worth it. I was in love immediately. We turned on the
camera and checked to see if you were a boy or girl and we were so excited to
find out you were our little Autumn! Daddy got off the phone a little later as
the midwives said they were still 20 minutes away. I had daddy fill the tub up
a little higher with warm water to keep us both warm and we just sat there in
the comfortable pool cuddling. It was such a sweet moment being able to rest
there in the water and enjoy just holding you as Daddy woke your sister
Danyelle to meet you. The midwifes arrived and since I wasn’t bleeding too much
they let me stay in the pool as we waited for the placenta to come out, which
probably almost took a full hour later to come! Even after the placenta came
out we just sat there together in the water cuddling, and after that we cuddled
on the couch some as all your sisters were awake by then and wanted to talk to
you. Claira, as I predicted, first wanted to meow and sniff you as she is in a
stage where she likes to play she is a doggy or kitty, especially when she is
feeling maybe a little insecure with something new. She quickly warmed up to
you though and “read” to you 4 books, something I’ve never seen her try to do
for someone before. All your sisters loved you. They all want to hold you and
love on you whenever they can! I am so thankful to God for your safe happy
birth. Went to bed at 10:30pm, woke at 11pm, and had you in my arms by 1:17 am!
I had been asking God for a quick, easy, safe birth as I was still tired out
from the flu the week before, but I didn't expect that quick! You are loved
little Autumn. I pray you will know God loves you too and accept Him someday
and grow into a godly girl and lady seeking to please Him. You are a little rainbow baby. A promise and
blessing from God after our stormy miscarriage and your rough pregnancy. May
God continue to bless your life and protect you every step of the way. We love
you little sweet one!
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